My doctor is an idiot

*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚⛄☕⛄・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

Current mood: giphy.gif

Officially I’m at undiagnosed autoimmune disorder. My thyroid tests came back normal which means it was being effected by a lack estrogen. Kind of figured but I’m happy to have that cleared up. My period came back and now it’s going away. I’ve been tracking it with my planner and I’m only into the third month and now it’s pretty much going away. The spot bleeding is down, which is great, but so is the actual period part. This month I haven’t had what you can a regular period. It was one day of normal bleeding and the rest have been spot bleeding. I told my doctor this.

He asked if I have hot flashes.


Third time of telling him and him writing it down, I haven’t had hot flashes since I was 14.

I told him my hair is still falling out, despite following the dentists instructions to a ‘t’ I’m still in the beginning stages of gum disease, my rash is spreading and it’s not eczema, my off and on chest pains are more consistent, I have trouble breathing while laying down, and I keep getting sharp stabs of pain in my feet and occasionally in my wrist. I’m having consistent side pain, mainly on the right side. On top of all of this I’m have debilitating fatigue.

I’ve always had issues with being really tired all the time but now it’s at the point where there are days I can’t even get out of bed to brush my teeth or even get a cup of water. If it wasn’t for the cats needing to be fed there are days where I probably wouldn’t get up until I needed to use the restroom because I’m just so damn tired. There used to be this joke with my family that I must be a big time night owl because I’m always so sleepy. It’s wasn’t funny then and it’s certainly not funny now. ˓˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎)

This is happening nearly everyday now to the point where I do, say the dishes, and then afterwards I lay down for a couple hours. I take a shower, lay down for a couple hours or the rest of the night. I get on my laptop for a couple hours, well that was tiring, time to lay down for the rest of the day.

I told my doctor this.

He asked what my diet was like and I told him I’m a vegan so I got tested vitamin deficiencies. Because being vegan the past two years can totally effect an issue that’s been going on since I was 13. giphy (1)

I’m only low in vitamin d. My b12 is fine. Iron is fine. It’s just a lack of vitamin d. Because it’s fucking freezing and I’m not going outside to frolic in the sun. It’s not even deficient, just low. At least I know the eating disorder isn’t causing issues.

The issue as to way my ovaries are not responding to my brain still has yet to be addressed or even diagnosed. I don’t even know if I have any egg follicles left because that hasn’t even been tested for because part of my issue could be there is nothing in my ovaries and that’s what they aren’t doing anything.

I’m not sure why I was even sent to him since his specialty is thyroid issues.  He is an endocrinologist so I guess it was good to see him to have it established there is an ovary issue but now this is clearly not just an ovary issue nor is it remotely a thyroid issue. It’s an autoimmune disorder. He doesn’t work with autoimmune disorders so I’m not sure why I have yet to be recommended to someone else.

The worst part about this is that it might be lupus. Little Sister is an esthetician  and she has two clients and a co-worker with lupus. According to her, we complain about the same things. Grandma on Mom’s side has a friend who’s grand daughter was diagnosed with lupus and guess what? She was going through what I was going through. I’m a little worried, needless to say.  (。•́︿•̀。)

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My exact face to all of this.

I don’t get the butterfly face rash but guess what my face has been doing lately? Turning red around my cheeks and getting itchy. I had this weird rough itchy patch on my cheek and it healed up fairly quickly so I don’t know what to make of it. Little sister said to change my moisturizer but the thing is, I’m using a new moisturizer. I change brands every time I buy a new one so my skin doesn’t become accustomed to the same moisturizer because that will cause issues like face itchiness. I do the same with the nighttime moisturizer too. And the toner.


I found 4 2×2 canvases and got them all painted up and took some pictures of them so I could add them to my Etsy shop. Well you see I completely forgot I had finished and took pictures of one. Like I didn’t remember it all. When I was taking pictures off my phone I was legit shocked to pictures of it because I swore up and down I still hadn’t even finished painting it and I look over to where I had the paintings sitting, and there it was. All done.

I legit forgot something. Like completely. I don’t even remember spraying it with fixative and setting up it with the other completed paintings. Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

Anyone have any idea what’s wrong with me? The doctor has yet to call me back for another appointment so if I don’t hear anything by Friday, I’m going to call them. It feels like since I got the birth control everything is getting worse. I’m just ran out of refills on it and can’t really afford to get some more and quite frankly I don’t think that’s fixing anything. If anything it may have made the issue worse.

In other news, I left the job. You know how I was talking about the rumor spreading that my manager went on a 10 minute rant about in the training? Yea. You know I mentioned that the two year old Glassdoor reviews were pretty true two years later? Yea. Just yea. That place is the epitome of toxic work environment and after I left they had three other job openings crop up. Gee I wonder why? (눈_눈)

So I’m on the hunt again. I’ve actually quite a few interviews which is nice but everyone brings up the hour and half commute from here to there. When I lived in Minnesota I had a two hour commute home due to both distance and traffic and that never effected my ability to come into work on time or cover a shift. Apparently here an hour and half is too scary to hire me but they’ll still call me in for an interview.Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

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What employers must think my commute is

Like if I’m showing up for an interview clearly the commute is not an issue. I know it’s the commute part too because most of the interview is me explaining I can show up on time and I’m fully capable of driving home in the dark.



So I’ve switched gears a little and I’m looking now in the town where Mom and Grandparents live. I’m using their address because they live in town and honestly if I get a job where they live I’ll probably just move. I want to go back to school and there is a community college there I attended previously. I’m like five classes ( two of which are math classes (╬⓪益⓪) ) away from my degree. So I want to go back, hopefully either this summer or fall.  For now though, it’s job hunting time and trying to hold Mom back from making a four hour drive to kill my doctor. She’s going with me to my next appointment. I’m scared for my doctor.  (๑•﹏•)

*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚⛄☕⛄・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*