Winter Bazaar

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This weekend was a bazaar in my local area. I sold the wall hanging and like nine necklaces, which is pretty massive for a small town event. It snowed the second day so it was pretty empty. Some people did show up and a last minute customer really made my day. She bought three necklaces- two for her granddaughters and one for herself. I forgot to have out business cards for the first day so that kinda sucks. I think rearranged my table like nine different times over the course of the event. It was mainly the necklaces I kept changing up.

My logic was if I kept making my table look different people who’ve seen it before will still stop to look to what changed. It worked 😉😏.  Didn’t help out much with sells but people did come by more. I wish I took a picture of how I had before the event ended, I really liked the set up.

All last night and part of this morning I’ve been updating my FB page and Etsy. I changed up the background I’m using and thankfully got a new light bulb in my lamp and it’s made a world of difference. Now I just need to figure out what to do for dream catchers, they’re so big and laying them flat just doesn’t quite work so I’m probably going to create something needlessly elaborate to get better pictures of them. My house is not built with great natural lighting in mind.




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*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚🍂☕🍂・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

OKaY GrandMAaAAa, can we not?

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The bazaar was fun. I sold two necklaces, one beaded & a pendant, and two dream catchers. I know that’s actually not a lot but for the bazaar being a one day event in a tiny town, that’s pretty good. The charity group Grandma volunteers at was also there, taking orders for Christmas wreathes, so she was also there and had to awkward it up.

Mind you, I’m fairly certain she has EDNOS so any weight comments she makes I’m not sure how exactly to respond to them. Like I know what triggers me and I can kinda guess what sets her off but overall I just don’t know what to say. She’s overweight and due to osteoarthritis, taking steroid medication, lack of exercise(partially due to the osteoarthritis), and has an unhealthy diet, it’s hard for her to loose weight.

Mom and Baby Sister were out again to visit this weekend and they were babysitting Nephew while Little Sister and Fiancee were at work. Mom was going to bring me lunch but due to Nephew teething and being fussy that whole plan fell apart. When teething he’s a massive handful, like how most toddlers are. So I told her to forget about it and I’ll just eat after the event. It was 9am- 3pm so not that long and I actually ate breakfast so it was no biggie. I’ll admit I was a little frustrated,  I’ve been fighting with insomnia and only got two and half hours of sleep so I was hangry, anxious, very tired, and I think it showed a little.

Grandma came over a couple of times to chat and basically snoop and asked about my lunch. I told her I wasn’t hungry and I was going to eat afterwards. Loudly she gasped in shock, like some people actually looked over at us, and she kept trying to push me to eat the food for the vendors. Well I couldn’t eat any of it because none of it was vegan and honestly salty chips and whatever the fuck else they had did not sound appealing anyways.

She then did a anxious laugh and said “No wonder you don’t gain weight, you don’t eat anything!” and then went scampering back off to her table. Like fuck me, Grandma, can she be even more awkward? She was being loud too. It was so bad. The vendors across from me kept looking over and I was so embarrassed.

I swear I’m not even that thin and it just made me feel weird. I’ve been off and on low key binging since Mom and Baby sister visited and it’s frustrating because I’m not hungry but I keep eating. Like it’s not full on binging but for me it’s bad.  I’m plateaued at 113 right now and it’s really frustrating. Because of the insomnia I’m trying to eat at night so it’s easier to fall asleep but I just feel like I’m eating too much.

I’ve started jogging. It’s super cold outside so I’m jogging in my house. It’s funny because the cats will sit at various locations and watch me. It freaks them out so badly. I used to hate running but being in my house and not being timed by anyone or watched makes it kinda enjoyable. I get how jogging helps improves peoples moods because I actually felt a little better afterwards.

Getting into some serious stuff, my anxiety has been a bitch lately. Like I want to get meds for it but I’m scared about talking to my doctor. It’s been easier for me to fall into an anxiety episode but at the same it’s easier for me to get out of it so I’m not sure what’s going on there. I’m chalking part of it up to not sleeping well. I’m having issues sleeping on my futon because my fucking hip bone sticks out too much when I lay down (on my side) and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve been on my couch and that was fun like the first night but now I swear, I want to set my couch on fire. It’s not fun anymore. I never use my couches, like ever and this does not endear them to me.

I got stuck with another cat. Fml… Sanu is officially up on Craigslist, it took awhile getting him ready to be adopted. Hopefully I can get him adopted out in the next week or so. I love him dearly and I’m so happy he let me turn him into a house cat, it’s time to get him moved onto his forever home. The other cat I got was very much not intentional. It’s a bad situation so I’m not going into details but in a nutshell my great uncle is in assisted living and we got his dog and cat. His dog was euthanized due to age and enough medical conditions that the vet flat out told Mom it’s kinder to put him down. The cat, Martin, thankfully did not have to euthanized.

Except now he has to live with me because I’m the magical cat rehabber🙃 Currently my cat total is up to five 🙃😓(Please someone adopt Martin and Sanu) and I live for day when it’s just Clar, Dexter and me. But yea, back to Martin. I don’t have any pictures of him yet but he is sweet kitty that did not deserve to get stuck with my great uncle. He was a hoarder among other things and it was such a bad situation for humans and animals.

Like Baby Sister went into his house once and got sick. You could not enter that house without a something over your face to protect your breathing. It was so bad like what you’d see on the Hoarders tv show, with all the trash and animal waste everywhere, it was so disgusting I don’t know how the dog and Martin didn’t drop dead from breathing issues.

Poor Martin used to eat plastic, like the other day I caught him licking a plastic bag, and he can’t even meow properly. It’s one of those situations where being a minimalist is coming in handy because I don’t have a lot in my house and I think the emptiness really helps him. I’m hoping to have him adopted him out before Christmas but we’ll see. Poor cat has some mental issues. Some of his behaviors are similar to Luna and she has feline hyperesthesia. With any luck, it’s not lifelong and he’ll get over it soon. I’m really happy I have the experience I do with Luna because some of it is coming in handy when dealing with Martin.

I swear though, after Clar and Dexter pass away I’m probably not going to get another cat. I’m getting catted out. I wish Mom and Baby Sister would stop finding animals to save because inevitably they get left with me since Mom refuses to learn how to Craigslist to adopt them out. Anyways, yea I’m catted out.

🍂Calories Ate: 844.0
🍂Calories Burned: 353.6
🍂Net Calories: 490.4
🍂Macro Nutrients: 31%

Today’s food was seven oreos and then same Udon dish I normally dish do. I haven’t been too creative lately. Like I kinda hate oreos now. Seven cookies are 493.73 calories. That’s an entire meal. Like wtf? I don’t think I’m going to get them anymore, I started to feel sick eating them today. Nevermind the level sugar for seven oreos alone is enough to fucking kill me. So yea, my brief adventure into forbidden foods has once again kinda back fired because now I don’t want to eat them.




*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚Happy Fall・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

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*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚🍂☕🍂・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

Writing Exercise 12/04/2016: Used to Love You

I really enjoy writing short stories and I need opinions outside of family on them. Most of them start as prompts I get from a writing app but I really enjoy fleshing them out and trying to make something out of them. I want to try to get them published someday but for now they’re just sitting in a folder in my Google drive.  I can has helpful criticisms, please?


The first time we met, he ordered crab. I hate sea food, I think it tastes disgusting. I’m a vegan so I thought he would order a dish that didn’t require it’s meant to be boiled alive but apparently not everyone understands how crab is cooked. This little slight didn’t ruin the night though. Nor did it prevent us from going back to my place and starting our relationship off on a positive note.
Now we’re meeting again in the same restaurant. First time in three years since our divorce. It was a bit of a set up by our friends. Neither one of us has dated since we split and I guess they thought we still had chemistry or some bullshit. This is what we get for sharing friends after the divorce.

Arnold the Ex sits across the table from me and I just know he’s silently fuming. I’m fuming too but we’re determined to enjoy a free dinner reservation and the accompanying food.

I arrived early and picked the seat with the best view. I was refreshing my lipstick for what I thought would be a hot date when he appeared across from me. He didn’t recognize me at first, just narrowed his eyes until it clicked, “Susan? Holy Hell! What are you doing here?”

It would’ve been a funny moment if we were in a movie. I probably would’ve laughed and cheered for the couple to get back together. End of the movie, they would be happily married again.  The sequel would involve shenanigans and them having a baby. It would be funny.

We can’t have babies. Neither one of us actually. When I was young and stupid I ruined my body with drugs and he just can’t. Shooting blanks every time. It was one of the reasons we divorced. Like a baby could hold us together. We can’t even hold ourselves together much less raise a child and expect it to be the glue that binds us. I’m bitter about this.

The day we divorced Arnold sent me flowers. He used to send me flowers when he found out I was having a bad day. I couldn’t stop crying when I saw the little vase of flowers sitting on my desk, a neatly written apology tucked between the stems.
I’m glad we never had child. It would’ve ripped out what was left my heart having to go through custody battles.

The waiter arrives and he doesn’t order crab. He orders some noodle dish with an impossible name and some water. I follow suit. It’s a vegan dish so I can eat it too.
I don’t know if he’s being thoughtful or likes vegan cooking now.

The silence following the departure of the waiter is nearly intolerable. We shift uncomfortably and look everywhere but at each other.

“So Sue,” He starts, staring intensely at his silverware. “You look great.”

“Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say. He looks amazing.

“I got that promotion at work finally. The guy in front of me ended up moving.” He’s a graphic designer at a company that gets hired to do animated commercials. He always wanted to be lead designer. He has really great ideas. I used to watch him draw and even though I have no talent it would make my hand ache for a pencil so I could try to make beautiful things too.

“That’s really great. Congratulations. You really deserve it. ” I try to smile. He really did deserve it and I am really am happy for him but I just come off as rehearsed. The worst part is I did rehearse that line. Over and over, just waiting for him to burst through the door full of excitement.

“How’s work for you?” Our gazes briefly flutter over each other.

“It’s going well. No promotion but I did get a raise. I got to travel for awhile.” I write articles for a travel magazine. It’s mostly about the best bed and breakfasts you can find in America. I actually got to travel to a few this year.

“Awesome. It’s about time you get to visit some of them.”

The silence isn’t so uncomfortable now. Our food arrives and it’s delicious. There is no conversation as we eat but that’s a habit for us. We don’t like talking when our mouths are full of food. Other might find the silence awkward but for us, meal time used to be moment to enjoy each other’s company without all the noise, to just look at someone you love and know that no words are needed.

Our plates are removed. Desert is refused. We decide to leave.

The restaurant is along the marina. The smell of salt and water hangs heavy in the air and clings to us. I love the ocean. It’s why I never moved away. Arnold and I don’t split ways. I point to the beach and he nods. I take off my heels and he his shoes. Like a little boy he even rolls his pant legs up to his knees.

“You still got that seashell wall hanging?” He asks picking up a small clam shell.

“Like I would get rid of it.”
It’s coming. That damn question is coming. He was always the one to ask it. Not this time.

“Where did we go wrong?” I blurt out.

Arnold looks at me as if dazed. He drops the sea shell and shoves his hands in his pocket looking like a petulant child.
“Come on, Arnold!”

Dammit, just answer me. We are not on trial so answer me!
Hot tears threaten to fall down my face. The tide water laps at our feet, pulling sand out from under us.

“I don’t know. I got tired, I guess.”
He stares at the sky above my head.

“Tired of me?”

I can’t look him in the eyes.

“No! Tired of us. I think. I don’t know, Sue. ”

He turns to leave me behind.

“You always lock me out and I hate it.”

He doesn’t face me as he speaks.

“This isn’t the time to have this conversation.”

He puts his shoes back on. He’s leaving me again. Well I can leave too. I put my heels on. I want the final word this time.

“It’s never the time, is it?”

Our footprints are all that’s left.


4th of July Bazaar


Yes I can make things. Things that you wear or your walls wear or even your plants wear just for fun. Speaking of fun. I had fun. Then my allergies attacked and it wasn’t so fun. I have two different brands of allergy relief pills but I can never remember which one makes me drowsy and I really didn’t want to fall asleep at my table seeing I was the only one watching it.

This whole lil event thingy took place in a tiny town that I live in. My particular section was hosted by the library. They asked for a $5 fee and I feel bad I didn’t give them $10. There were only three other vendors present.

My fun turned allergy nightmare day started off with me showing up two hours early because I’m like that and sitting awkwardly in my car waiting to set up my table. I didn’t write down what time I was supposed to show up and was too nervous to ask the ladies at the library when the vendors were supposed to set up.  Once the first vendor arrived and set up ( I spied on the library from my car to make sure it was okay) I awkwardly got out of my car, awkwardly asked what I where I was supposed to set up ( apparently where ever I could find room, which was everywhere because next to no one had arrived), and awkwardly struggled with my canopy. I felt a little awkward needless to say. Even at 25 I’m not fully socialized and everyone was older than me so I felt really childish.

I think I fretted about the placement of everything for like an hour before finally being happy with it. The last event I went to out here was in a building so I wasn’t able to hang dream catchers and they just don’t have the same charm laying down on a table. This time though I hung all of them up and it really brought in people. While no one bought one I did get a lot of positive feedback. I actually got nothing but positive feedback on all my stuff and people grabbed my business cards of their own volition. I’m spreading the word of PurpleCat! Yay me.

Here’s a free tip for people trying to jump-start their business in a tiny town:  If you make a sell at an event then you’re doing good. Small town people are very hard customers mainly because they tend to be on the poorer side or on very tight budgets. At each event change your prices to see where people are most comfortable with buying but don’t shortchange yourself. I only made five sells but that five sells over the two other vendors selling goods. The third vendor was selling some amazing quality produce so no matter what she’ll always do good at events.

Towards the end, the wind picked up and blew in everything that aggravates my allergies and I was pretty miserable for the last two hours. At one point I actually considered leaving early because my eyes were getting bloodshot. The bad thing about outdoor events is being allergic to nearly everything outdoors. My list is as follows:
– dust
– pollen
– several weeds and plants in the area
– firework smoke

My confusion about my pills is very inconvenient. I keep trying to test which one is the drowsy one at night but of course I fall asleep because it’s, you know, night and I’m tired.

Any who, hope everyone had a good fireworks day and enjoyed the festivities because I know I did 🙂