Can’t think of a title today

*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚🍂☕🍂・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

For the past couple of days I haven’t been counting calories. I’m still under 1,000 calories per day but I am eating a little more than usual. I’m estimating between 960-970. It low key has me massively stressed about my macro nutrients but I can guesstimate which ones I need to take since I barely deviate my usual diet.

My anxiety has been a bit high today and I frantically started vacuuming and just wandering around the house for no reason. It’s like I can’t focus on anything for too long before I must jump to the next activity. If this keeps up I’m probably going to cave and go back to counting calories.

Normally if I’m anxious, a little bit of cleaning goes a long way for helping me calm down. I think I could probably deep clean the whole house and still feel off today.

In other news, I’m on a waiting list for the Christmas bazaar happening here. I called a little late so I’m not getting my hopes up. This is one of the major bazaars here so I probably shot myself in the foot waiting as long as I did. The lady in charge is going to call me either Tuesday or Wednesday so I’ll know for sure if I got in. Fingers crossed!

My Etsy shop is finally updated. FIN.NAL.LY. I have 90% of my dream catchers and necklaces listed. The rest I’m gradually going to put in, just to keep up some sort of level of activity. At the same time I’ve been updating my facebook and DeviantArt page. I started listing downloadable prints on Etsy and for physical prints, everything is linked back to it’s own posting on DA. Updating across my sites like this normally takes a whole day so I’ve been on butt all day and boy do I feel it.

It does not help my chair is like five years old and has no cushioning to speak of. At least it has little wheels so I can scoot around and scare the cats.

Speaking of cats, Sanu is still with me. I had one person ask about him but they had a dog. Sanu is terrified of dogs. It makes sense given he was feral and there are feral dogs, stray dogs, and coyotes out here. So that person was a no-go. I’m not confident in Sanu’s ability to be friendly and get over his fear of dogs. Martin is still with me too and he’s been gaining more and more confidence over the past week. I haven’t caught him eating plastic so that’s a big improvement. His coat when he was first brought out of the house was white and light grey. It’s now white and near black. He was that sick his coat had changed colors. His gums are still a little pale but he doesn’t have symptoms of being sick and I’ve been monitoring his mouth (he’s a gentle cat but no one likes having their  mouth forcibly opened) just in case though. He had such a shit diet( of plastic and God only knows what else) I think that’s why they’re discolored. It’s a miracle there isn’t anything wrong with him besides some mental trauma.

Anyways, I’ve been keeping up with belly dancing and I’m getting more confident with my ability to someday do a video of myself practicing. I only know three moves right now though so it’d probably be a bit boring though.

Lately I’ve been driving myself mad looking at my body. I’ve been pinching myself a bit more, where I feel like I have a lot of fat. It’s a little distracting belly dancing because I have to stare at myself in the mirror to make sure my form is right. I can still wrap my hands around the lower part of my thigh and recently measured myself and I have 28 inch waist. That has done nothing to help me see myself as not fat. It’s like I’m hallucinating being at a normal weight even though I can physically do things ( like wrap my hands around my thigh) that I couldn’t at 145. It’s so weird and I can’t get over that.

I keep trying to tell myself I look fine but then I look at my stomach or feel my neck or whatever and all I can think about is how fat I am and how I still have such a long way to go. At one point a couple days ago I actually started thinking maybe my scale was broke and because it’s digital I’m not sure how to fix to make it read 145 again. I got over that but the fact I was even thinking  that way is mind boggling. Hence why I started not counting my calories.

Anyways, please check out my Etsy shop. It’s finally been updated and I have links to my DeviantArt on there too where most of my pictures are available as prints.

📷🖌📷

*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚Happy Fall・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*Pumpkingirl for blog.png

*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚🍂☕🍂・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

 

***Morning Update***

I didn’t need to make a whole new post for this but whatever. Update on Sanu is he has a vet appointment on the 11th, so that’s good. I want to clarify, he isn’t going to dumped off at a shelter after the vet. I’m going to get him rehabbed and house trained. He’s isolated away from the other cats but I know he smells them. Anywho, he’s eaten and pooped and his poop looks kinda bad so I’m not sure if he’s dehydrated or sick. The smoke is bad here so I’m worried the whole reason I was able to catch him is because he’s sick from it. When I pet him nothing feels out of place nor does he have any sore spots. Given that he is a feral cat I’m surprised how easily he warmed up to me. I guess feeding him for a year helped. 
 
The whole day leading up to me catching him he’d been acting a little out of the norm. Like he was off and on the porch and at one point was laying down staring at the house. I don’t know if he is finally ready to be a house cat or wanted security away from the smoke. He isn’t afraid of house noises which helps with the whole rehabbing process.
 
I’m glad that Sanu is a male because if he was a female I would be terrified of leaving kittens behind. As it stands he is one less Tom cat wandering the countryside mating with females so that’s a big win. The country life is not forgiving to kitties that live outside.

Found another cat.

For an entire year I’ve been trying to gain this little guy’s trust. I’ve named him Sanu and he is feral. For an entire year he’s been living under my house and on occasion I gave him food when I saw him outside. Tonight he finally let me pet him and I finally finally caught him. I think between the heat, smoke, and coyotes he was ready to give up his bachelor life and be a pet. So,  now to  call the vet tomorrow and get him looked at. If you’re in Oregon he’s available for adoption- after I get him to the vet.  I already have 2 cats and I’m long term fostering one with special needs but I can’t turn my back on him. I also can’t keep him. So yea. Hit me up if you or anyone you know wants a cat that is probably a good mouse.  Despite being feral he’s actually doing pretty good around me. 

I don’t wanna be a crazy cat lady.

Everyone who has ever met me has said I’m going to be a crazy cat lady because I take care of two cats (and a leopard tortoise). Somehow being young ( only 24), single, living alone, and caring for two cats qualifies me for the dishonorable title of Miss Crazy Cat Lady. Fucking Hell, really?

Half the time I don’t even tell people I have cats unless I’m asked if I have kids. I’m single but hey it’s okay if I have 9 kids by 11 men and my boyfriend is in the county jail for stabbing my ex but God above forbid I have cats. Not the cats. Anything but the fur babies.

I love cats. Dogs are okay but I have no experience caring for them. I’m a renter and most places charge a lot more for dogs than cats. Cats make more sense for apartments. They’re easier to care for, don’t make a lot of noise, their food is cheaper, they don’t need to be walked. I’m a cat person. It make sense for me to have cats. If I had two dogs ( and a tortoise) no one would bat an eye. Yea, two dogs. What breed? That’s cool. The title of Miss Crazy Dog Lady does not exist.

Why doesn’t it exist? Who the Hell started the crazy cat lady trope? Who was the first crazy cat lady that doomed me to be mocked for my two cats? I actually looked it up and didn’t really find anything concrete beyond animal cruelty. According to this article, people thought cats were soulless creatures that didn’t feel pain so everyone abused them and if you liked cats you were weird and crazy. Thanks history. Thank you so very much.

Or rather screw you history! Fuck you in fact. I love my cats. They help alleviate my depression, they provide comfort and warmth. When my tummy hurts I can grab a cat and place it on my tummy. Instant warmth and pressure. They purr. They play. They make cute little noises. I love my cats. I can’t even defend myself without appearing more crazy.

I really hate when you try to defend yourself against something that really makes you mad or upset and the more you talk, the more that’s used to indicate how crazy you are. Like every word you speak in your defense is used in the offense against you. That is such a cheap tactic to get a person riled up. Like nothing can be said against you so instead your own words or position is used against you. How weak can someones position be that they can’t even come up with a legit argument in their own words? This is something people do to women who own cats all the damn time. Like where’s the hate against crazy cat men? Guys can be cat crazy too. Just give them a chance prove it. Actually men, don’t do it. Don’t be crazy cat men because the last thing we need is the feminists getting more ammo to use against men. Ugh, women need to stop ruining shit for me. Stop shitting on my shit and shit I like, dammit. I like cats and men. Leave the cats and men alone!

On the topic of cats I really enjoy the art of Laurel Burch.  I’m not sure if I would ever buy one of her pieces but I really like looking at them. Like cats. I really enjoy looking at cats and kittens but I love my kitties. I’ve had to take care of a litter of 6 kittens plus the mama and the my ex roommates adult cat. I know the horrors of lots of cats. I peeked into Hell and Hell mewed back. It’s small and fluffy, doesn’t let you move at night, isn’t litter box trained, and requires so much food. Looks great until it’s your life and all your clothes are covered in fur. Not that much fun.

20160410_145439.jpg

This isn’t my cat by the way. This is my little sister’s cat. But this is my reaction to being called a crazy cat lady when I only have two cats ( and a tortoise).

Kthanxbye~ T