OKaY GrandMAaAAa, can we not?

*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚🍂☕🍂・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

The bazaar was fun. I sold two necklaces, one beaded & a pendant, and two dream catchers. I know that’s actually not a lot but for the bazaar being a one day event in a tiny town, that’s pretty good. The charity group Grandma volunteers at was also there, taking orders for Christmas wreathes, so she was also there and had to awkward it up.

Mind you, I’m fairly certain she has EDNOS so any weight comments she makes I’m not sure how exactly to respond to them. Like I know what triggers me and I can kinda guess what sets her off but overall I just don’t know what to say. She’s overweight and due to osteoarthritis, taking steroid medication, lack of exercise(partially due to the osteoarthritis), and has an unhealthy diet, it’s hard for her to loose weight.

Mom and Baby Sister were out again to visit this weekend and they were babysitting Nephew while Little Sister and Fiancee were at work. Mom was going to bring me lunch but due to Nephew teething and being fussy that whole plan fell apart. When teething he’s a massive handful, like how most toddlers are. So I told her to forget about it and I’ll just eat after the event. It was 9am- 3pm so not that long and I actually ate breakfast so it was no biggie. I’ll admit I was a little frustrated,  I’ve been fighting with insomnia and only got two and half hours of sleep so I was hangry, anxious, very tired, and I think it showed a little.

Grandma came over a couple of times to chat and basically snoop and asked about my lunch. I told her I wasn’t hungry and I was going to eat afterwards. Loudly she gasped in shock, like some people actually looked over at us, and she kept trying to push me to eat the food for the vendors. Well I couldn’t eat any of it because none of it was vegan and honestly salty chips and whatever the fuck else they had did not sound appealing anyways.

She then did a anxious laugh and said “No wonder you don’t gain weight, you don’t eat anything!” and then went scampering back off to her table. Like fuck me, Grandma, can she be even more awkward? She was being loud too. It was so bad. The vendors across from me kept looking over and I was so embarrassed.

I swear I’m not even that thin and it just made me feel weird. I’ve been off and on low key binging since Mom and Baby sister visited and it’s frustrating because I’m not hungry but I keep eating. Like it’s not full on binging but for me it’s bad.  I’m plateaued at 113 right now and it’s really frustrating. Because of the insomnia I’m trying to eat at night so it’s easier to fall asleep but I just feel like I’m eating too much.

I’ve started jogging. It’s super cold outside so I’m jogging in my house. It’s funny because the cats will sit at various locations and watch me. It freaks them out so badly. I used to hate running but being in my house and not being timed by anyone or watched makes it kinda enjoyable. I get how jogging helps improves peoples moods because I actually felt a little better afterwards.

Getting into some serious stuff, my anxiety has been a bitch lately. Like I want to get meds for it but I’m scared about talking to my doctor. It’s been easier for me to fall into an anxiety episode but at the same it’s easier for me to get out of it so I’m not sure what’s going on there. I’m chalking part of it up to not sleeping well. I’m having issues sleeping on my futon because my fucking hip bone sticks out too much when I lay down (on my side) and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve been on my couch and that was fun like the first night but now I swear, I want to set my couch on fire. It’s not fun anymore. I never use my couches, like ever and this does not endear them to me.

I got stuck with another cat. Fml… Sanu is officially up on Craigslist, it took awhile getting him ready to be adopted. Hopefully I can get him adopted out in the next week or so. I love him dearly and I’m so happy he let me turn him into a house cat, it’s time to get him moved onto his forever home. The other cat I got was very much not intentional. It’s a bad situation so I’m not going into details but in a nutshell my great uncle is in assisted living and we got his dog and cat. His dog was euthanized due to age and enough medical conditions that the vet flat out told Mom it’s kinder to put him down. The cat, Martin, thankfully did not have to euthanized.

Except now he has to live with me because I’m the magical cat rehabber🙃 Currently my cat total is up to five 🙃😓(Please someone adopt Martin and Sanu) and I live for day when it’s just Clar, Dexter and me. But yea, back to Martin. I don’t have any pictures of him yet but he is sweet kitty that did not deserve to get stuck with my great uncle. He was a hoarder among other things and it was such a bad situation for humans and animals.

Like Baby Sister went into his house once and got sick. You could not enter that house without a something over your face to protect your breathing. It was so bad like what you’d see on the Hoarders tv show, with all the trash and animal waste everywhere, it was so disgusting I don’t know how the dog and Martin didn’t drop dead from breathing issues.

Poor Martin used to eat plastic, like the other day I caught him licking a plastic bag, and he can’t even meow properly. It’s one of those situations where being a minimalist is coming in handy because I don’t have a lot in my house and I think the emptiness really helps him. I’m hoping to have him adopted him out before Christmas but we’ll see. Poor cat has some mental issues. Some of his behaviors are similar to Luna and she has feline hyperesthesia. With any luck, it’s not lifelong and he’ll get over it soon. I’m really happy I have the experience I do with Luna because some of it is coming in handy when dealing with Martin.

I swear though, after Clar and Dexter pass away I’m probably not going to get another cat. I’m getting catted out. I wish Mom and Baby Sister would stop finding animals to save because inevitably they get left with me since Mom refuses to learn how to Craigslist to adopt them out. Anyways, yea I’m catted out.

🍂Calories Ate: 844.0
🍂Calories Burned: 353.6
🍂Net Calories: 490.4
🍂Macro Nutrients: 31%

Today’s food was seven oreos and then same Udon dish I normally dish do. I haven’t been too creative lately. Like I kinda hate oreos now. Seven cookies are 493.73 calories. That’s an entire meal. Like wtf? I don’t think I’m going to get them anymore, I started to feel sick eating them today. Nevermind the level sugar for seven oreos alone is enough to fucking kill me. So yea, my brief adventure into forbidden foods has once again kinda back fired because now I don’t want to eat them.

📷🍽📷

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📷🖌📷

*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚Happy Fall・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

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*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚🍂☕🍂・゜゚*:.。. .。.:*

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